


Make This Feel Like Home

by Masterofpretending



Category: Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, basically pining heaven, beware of foul language, kelly is the only sensible one here, simon and nathan are idiots doing idiot things, slowburn, yes the title is a 1D reference sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2019-11-24 13:36:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18165884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterofpretending/pseuds/Masterofpretending
Summary: "No, Simon never hated Nathan, but never in a million years did he think he would be standing in front of him, offering the other boy a place to stay. He had to be going insane."Simon takes pity on Nathan and offers him to crash at his place. Typical "Misfits" craziness ensues.





	1. Driving me crazy, but I'm into it

**Simons POV**

 

Despite all the endless mocking, name calling and borderline bullying, Simon had never hated Nathan. The curly haired boy was always, strangely enough, a calm presence in otherwise chaotic situations. When the world was ending or another probation worker died you could be sure Nathan would be the first to crack a joke about it, somehow bringing light into the most fucked up of circumstances.

 

No, Simon never hated Nathan, but never in a million years did he think he would be standing in front of him, offering the other boy a place to stay. It had really just slipped out more than anything else. No planning. Not a second to think about how they were gonna sleep or how his family would react to another criminal in their house. It had taken one look for Simon to propose it, one look at that sad clutter Nathan called home and Simon couldn't help it. Perhaps Nathan didn't deserve his pity but that didn't stop Simon from giving it away.

 

“Is this your way of trying to tell me you want to shag me,” Nathan conspired, “Cus, get in line Barry.”

 

“That's not what I was saying,” 

 

Simon wondered why Nathan had to dramatize everything all the time, couldn't a simple yes and thank you ever be enough?

 

“You asked me if I wanted to sleep with you, how is that not at least a bit gay?”

 

Nathan gave the little bag of chips in his hand a shake and to his disappointment only a few crumbs fell out, landing in his open palm.

 

“I thought you might like some real food, a warm bed, something more than… this.”

 

Simon heard his own voice getting weaker like he was regretting the words as he said them. There was no one left in the community center to hear their conversation but Simon was sure if he embarrassed himself he would never hear the end of it tomorrow. Despite getting away with murder on more than one occasion Nathan wasn't exactly stellar at keeping a secret.

 

“Nevermind, forget I asked,” Simon mumbled, turning away and leaving Nathan to his vending machine dinners and lonely nights.

 

“Hold on, hold on,” Nathan shouted behind him, “No need to get yer knickers in a twist just cus I'm teasing you a bit, I thought that was our thing anyway.”

 

“It's  _ your _ thing,” Simon shot back.

 

Nathan brought up his hands in a sign of submission, throwing away the empty bag of chips as he did so.

 

“So…” He said, turning to Simon and putting on one of his ridiculous Nathan-smiles, “About that real food and warm bed.”

 

~~~

 

Simon looked twice through the window, making sure no one was home as he twisted the key and entered the house.

 

“I don't think we should tell my parents about this,” he told Nathan as the other boy gave him that familiar look; telling him he was being a weirdo.

 

“They already have a pyromaniac in their home, why would they care about me,   an innocent boy!”

 

They took off their shoes, Simon bringing Nathans pair with him as they left the hallway to walk up to Simons room.

 

“Pyromaniac, I'm surprised you know that word,” Simon said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth but his eyes avoiding Nathans.

 

“Are you getting cocky with me? You better watch it Barry, you have no idea what I could do to your toothbrush.”

 

Simon smiled even wider at that but Nathan didn't catch it, he was distracted by the art on the walls, reaching out his hand to touch the naked lady hiding among the trees in the painting.

 

“Don't,” Simon warned several steps in front of Nathan, opening the door to his room.

 

“I haven't had access to good wanking material in weeks, I have urges you know.” He blew naked forest lady a kiss before entering Simons room, instantly laying down on the bed, messing up the covers entirely. Simon grimaced at that but said nothing, deciding if he was going to start nitpicking every disorganized and unnecessary thing Nathan did he might never be able to stop.

 

“Do you want some tea?” He said instead and Nathan enthusiastically nodded, his locks of hair bouncing up and down almost comically.

 

Simon hastily left the room, warming up some chamomile tea in the kitchen. As the water heated up he spent his time contemplating his own sanity, letting Nathan Young of all people into his house. On one hand it was stupid and insanely irresponsible but on the other hand, maybe this was what his therapist meant when she told him to “let things happen and relax a bit more”. When Simon was back in his room he found Nathan, to his horror, sitting by the computer.

 

“I was looking for your porn collection,” the Irishman admitted, “but I think I found something much better.” 

 

On the screen played clips of the gang going about their normal lives at the community center. Kelly calling Nathan a wanker, Nathan responding with some obscene gesture. Curtis and Alisha walking together, close but not too close. 

 

“Look at that, we’re so cute,” Nathan said as a video played of Kelly giving Nathan a smack in the face before storming off, probably after having had enough of the boys bullshit.

 

“That’s not-” Simon mumbled.

 

The next video played, all of them were sitting together in the park catching some sunshine before, inevitably, getting yelled at by the probation worker for slagging off.

 

“Ya kno,” Kelly said in the video, turning her face towards the warming sun, “Despite everything, yeah, I'm still glad I met ya and all.”

 

It was genuine, as genuine as any of them could get and Nathan couldn't seem to help but smile at the memory. The Nathan in the video opened his mouth and Simon already knew the words before they were even uttered.

 

“The four amigos, who would have guessed it.”

 

Simon abruptly paused the video and an awkward silence erupted in the room. Nathan turned to Simon with a weird, almost apologetic smile. He looked like he was just about to make some half-hearted joke about how Simon really was invisible in more ways than one when they heard the door opening downstairs. Simon quickly closed the laptop turning to the other boy with a serious look.

 

“Be quiet.” He instructed.

 

~~~

 

Later that evening Simon managed to smuggle up a serving of tacos and a glass of lemonade. Nathan had, in his usual Nathan-way of course, eyed the drink suspiciously and asked if there wasn't any beer in the house. Simon said there wasn't, making sure to avoid mentioning the liquor cabinet downstairs, knowing Nathan would find a way to empty it by the end of the week. How what this a good idea again?

 

“This was a great idea Barry,” Nathan said between bites, getting a bit of salsa sauce on his chin, “Your mom makes some mean tacos mate.”

 

Simon looked away as he smiled, not wanting Nathan to notice how affected he’d been by the compliment. It was weird to see Nathan being nice for once.

 

“So how are we sleeping?” the curly haired boy asked, “Cus I'm not cuddling your balls or nothin’.”

 

Nevermind, Simon thought.

 

~~~

 

“What are you doing with the mattress?”

 

Simon spun around, silently cursing as he faced his sisters questioning eyes.

 

“I've been having some back pain, I thought another mattress might help.” 

 

Simon had prepared the lie beforehand but Shelly still didn't get the look of suspicion off her face. She crossed her arms.

 

“It sounded like you were talking to someone in there,” she said.

 

“I was,” Simon improvised, “I was skyping with one of my mates from community service.”

 

“I didn't know you were friends with those guys,” She pondered, seemingly buying the story, “Is he cute?” 

 

“Wh-what?” Simon stumbled, “I don't know, it's not like that.”

 

“I was asking for me, calm down,” She rolled her eyes at him and Simon relaxed slightly.

 

“He's too old for you, it doesn't matter.” He said, walking past her, dragging the mattress along with him.

 

~~~

  
  


Nathan had fallen asleep before Simon was even back with the mattress. It was sort of unfair that he got to sleep in the bed instead of on the floor, but he looked so peaceful when he slept, Simon didn't have the heart to wake him up. He was like a child almost, running around and causing endless trouble when he was awake but calm when he slept. Someone, not Simon, might have even described it as cute. 

 

The next morning they snuck out early, Nathan somehow finding the time to boil an egg before they left. He ate on it the entire way to community service and other than his loud chewing the pair walked in silence. It almost felt awkward, like the reminiscence of a one night stand but without any of the fun stuff. It was a slow day at the community center and Simon quietly wondered if Nathan was going to tell anyone that he’d slept in his bed. Kelly gave him a weird look and he quickly focused his thoughts on the graffiti in front of him. He felt his fingers cramp as he tightened the grip on the brush, scrubbing away the paint.

 

Suddenly, something warm and large touched his leg. He looked down only to find a brown German Shepherd at his feet, licking his black sneakers.

 

“Are you lost?” He asked it, kneeling down. The dog started to lick his face and Simon couldn't help but let out a surprised laugh.

 

“Look who's getting their first kiss,” Nathan mocked and Simon stood up again, receiving a sad look from the dog.

 

“Poppy?” 

 

A redheaded girl ran towards them, leach in one hand and a panicked look on her face.

 

“I think someone is looking for you,” Simon told the dog as the girl came closer.

 

“Poppy, what have I told you about running away,” She scolded, reattaching the dog to the leach and then looking up at Simon, “You found him, right?”

 

Simon nodded and to his surprise, the girl gave him a quick embrace, “I feel like I should reward you somehow.” She said.

 

The gang looked at one another doubtingly but Nathan was the first one to object.

 

“He just stood there, by that logic I should get a reward too,” He gave the girl a not so subtle wink, “I have a few ideas in mind actually.” 

 

“He a friend of yours?” The redhead asked Simon, a small grin on her face. Nathans look turned from cooky to wounded as the girl ignored him completely. 

 

“I wouldn't say friend…” Simon hesitated, “I’m Simon by the way.”

 

“Lydia.”

 

They shook hands briefly and when they separated Simon felt completely dumbfounded. Was he supposed to do something here?  He could feel the group eyeing them, undoubtedly listening in on their conversation. Luckily Simon didn't have to say anything else as Lydia exclaimed, “Right, the reward!”

 

“That's okay, I really didn't-”

 

“I work at the Pigeon Hole, you know, the diner by Peckman road?”  Simon nodded, “I work most weekends, I can hook you up with a free meal if you come by, your mates too,” she added. 

 

“Thank you,” Simon said earnestly and Lydia gave him a dashing smile in return.

 

“I hope you take me up on the offer,” She said simply before leaving with the dog, just as abruptly as they once had came. 


	2. And all you did was look my way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for slight gore and Taylor Swift.
> 
> Nathan's POV.

“Ya got some serious jealousy problems Nathan,” Kelly said when the two of them went to go get some more soapwater to clean the wall with. 

 

“What have I said about poking around in my head?” Nathan answered, not particularly liking his friend’s accusation.

 

“It's not my fault ya thinking so loud,” She hit back, “It doesn't always have to be about you, ya know, you should be glad he’s getting some, alright?”

 

“You mean Barry and that girl?” Nathan asked, swinging the bucket with his arm. “That was nothing, just cause the dog liked him doesn't mean they’re gonna be girlfriend and boyfriend.”

 

Kelly took the bucket out of his hands, filling the bottom with some yellow soap.

 

“You didn't seem to think it was nothin’,” She commented. 

 

“Fine,” Nathan admitted, rolling his eyes, “I just think it's odd that I'm standing right there and she goes for him,  _ him _ !?”

 

He gave her a mourning look, yet she didn't seem particularly moved. 

 

“I’ve always wanted to do it with a redhead,” He added, “You know the whole ‘does the drapes match the carpet’ thing, it's intriguing.” 

 

He did a little motion around his crotch and Kelly looked away, groaning.

 

“You’re disgusting,” she said and Nathan laughed in response. 

 

They filled the bucket with water and Nathan took some of the bubbles forming on the surface only to dramatically blow them up in the air. Some landed in Kelly's tight ponytail and she called him a wanker, flicking some bubbles his way as well. They started making their way back, but before they reached the others Kelly spoke again,

 

“Don’t be a dick to Simon, I mean it,”  She said earnestly, “Ain't he letting ya sleep in his bed?”

 

“That little bastard told you-”

 

“He didn’t tell me shit,” Kelly interrupted, “mind reading, yeah?” She made a motion towards her own head and Nathan nodded, feeling a bit dumb.

 

“He’s an alright bloke,” Kelly continued, “is it so hard to be nice to him for once?”

 

He scoffed in response. Kelly made it sound so easy, Nathan thought, but in the absence of his general dickish-ness what would be left?

  
  


~~~

  
  


It was lasagna for dinner and Nathan ate it almost quicker than the tacos from the day before. He would never have admitted it to Simon but home-cooked food was the thing he missed most about living at home. He didn't even mind the fact that he had to wait alone up in the bedroom while Simon was downstairs playing “healthy and functional family”. He’d spend the time browsing Simon’s book collection of Sci-fi and non-fictional material. He even found a book about some Spanish director that weirdly enough piqued his interest. Despite not knowing any of the movies the book referenced, the common theme of finding love in the most unlikely people made Nathan curious. Did Simon like this stuff because he felt like the the monsters in the stories? The underdog, painfully waiting for the day some redheaded princess would fall into his arms, confessing her undying love for him.

 

“Do you think I should go?”

 

Nathan jumped a bit hearing Simon’s sudden voice. He turned his head up from the plate and gave the boy a reassuring pat on the back.

 

“Nah, you're alright company, don't worry about it.” 

 

“No,” Simon said in that ridiculously low voice, “I mean the diner with Lydia. Should I go?”

 

“Yer asking me for relationship advice?” Nathan exclaimed and let his arm fully embrace the other boy, “I’m truly flattered, really, call me Doctor loooove.” 

 

He pronounced the last word with as much passas as he could and Simon couldn't resist cracking a smile. It made Nathan smile right back and it was a comfortable moment, too calm for Nathan's usual liking, but nice nonetheless. It was odd seeing Simon happy, but it fit him, Nathan thought. Maybe Kelly was right, being a bit less of a dick might not have been such a terrible idea after all. 

 

~~~

 

_ He looked down at his hands and even though he couldn't see them in the endless darkness he knew they were bleeding. He felt the warm liquid dripping down on his face, smearing all over his clothes. His fingers were numb after hours of trying to claw their way out of the wooden casket. He would claw and claw until he fell asleep, only to dream about his fingernails falling out and soil filling his lungs. He would scream when he woke up, hoping, in utter desperation that someone would hear him. They never did. _

  
  


“Nathan, please, you’re going to wake everyone up,”

 

Nathan felt a pair of strong hands shaking him by the shoulders. It was dark in the room but he could make out the outline of toned arms and ruffled hair.

 

“Simon?” He asked the darkness. 

 

“You were having a nightmare I think,” the boy responded, removing his grip from Nathan and subsequently taking some warmth with him. 

 

“It was nothing,” Nathan lied, “I don't even remember it.” 

 

He didn't particularly like talking about his time being buried alive, who in their right mind would? It just so happened that his brain couldn't let the memories go, having them reappear time and time again as he fell asleep. It should have felt repetitive and boring and yet they managed to scared him shitless every single time. He would wake up panting, his muscles painfully tense. He should have gotten used to it by now but, evidently, there was something seriously wrong with him.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Simon asked and Nathan almost felt sickened by the thick tension in the room.

 

“Sure,” He said sarcastically, “I was walking in the woods, minding my own business, when this naked lady stepped out from behind the trees asking me if she should drop to her knees and-”

 

“Alright,” Simon interrupted,  “If you don't want to talk, I’m going back to sleep.”

 

He walked back to the mattress on the floor and Nathan focused on the sound of shifting sheets as he tried to calm down his own breathing, wondering if he’d be able to fall asleep again. If he even wanted to.

  
  


~~~

  
  


Sure, Nathan should know better than to snoop around the house while Simon was busy showering, but then again, when had he ever known better? He was pretty sure no one was awake anyway and what harm could it really do? He was lazilly playing with a candybar that he’d stolen from one of the cabinets in the kitchen. It was one of his favorites, chocolate coated with caramel in the middle, and he was contemplating whether to eat it now or save it for later. Perhaps he would even be a gentleman and ask if Simon wanted to have a taste as well. Who said he couldn't be the hero for a change?

 

He put the candybar in his back pocket and walked out of the kitchen to instead inspect the living room. As he expected, It all looked wonderfully ordinary and you could never have guessed it was the home of an invisible pyromaniac (yes, he knew that word) with perverted and homicidal tendencies. But then again, perhaps the excessive amount of coasters and cat-themed couch pillows should be an indication that something was slightly off. There was no indication that there were any teens living in the house and it was as if Simon’s parents were, practically, in that stage in their lives where their kids had all grown up and they had the house to themselves. Except Simon definitely still lived there, and the more Nathan thought about it the more he decided he didn’t care much for Simon’s parents. 

 

He got bored again, slouched down in the couch and started wondering how long a person really needed to shower for. Sure, Simon may have only been in there for a couple of minutes but honestly, every minute nobody was paying attention to Nathan, felt like an hour. Maybe he was wanking in there. The thought made him let out a little laugh and he instantly decided the best way to cure his boredom would be to confirm the validity of his theory. Either Simon would be wanking in there and Nathan would totally ruin the mood, making the other boy all embarrassed and flustered. Or, Simon would not be wanking and when Nathan suggested the idea he would, once again, be embarrassed and flustered. It was a win-win situation, well for Nathan anyway. He sneaked up the stairs, carefully opening the bathroom door which Simon had, naively, left unlocked. The room was filled with fog and Nathan made the observation that Simon must have been a scalding-hot-shower type of guy.

 

“Hello?” came a voice from the shower but it was barely audible, drowning in the sound of the water hitting the tiles below. 

 

“Barry,” Nathan said, instantly earning a frustrated groan from the other side of the shower curtain.

 

“Why couldn't you stay in the room?” Simon hissed.

 

“I got bored,” Nathan hissed back, then, remembering his earlier mission, added, “Were you wanking in there?”

 

“What?”

  
“Wanking,” Nathan clarified, “you know, jerking off, beating the meat, spanking the monkey.”

 

“I, I was-”

The other half of Simon's flustered response was interrupted by a loud knock on the door and the boys both fell silent. 

 

“Simon, is it you in there?” Came a female voice from outside the bathroom. Nathan guessed it was Simon’s younger sister and to his delight, her accent had a hint of chav-iness to it.

 

“I'm showering,” Simon responded, his voice sounding way lighter than his usually low tone.

 

“Okay, I'm going in to get my hairbrush,” the girl announced, turning the handle to open the door.

 

Nathan felt adrenaline rushing through his body and, without thinking, he pulled back the shower curtain and jumped straight into the shower. Simon was suddenly standing right in front of him, very shocked and very naked. The air was humid and drops of water were hitting Nathan’s skin, making him flinch at the warmth. The whole thing was making him feel like he was having an oddly steamy fever dream. The two of them stared at each other intently, Nathan being scared to break the eye contact and accidentally see something he’d regret. Simon presumably just being the natural weirdo that he was.

 

“Were you talking to yourself in there?” The presumed sister asked, and Nathan could hear her walking around, opening the cabinet door above the mirror.

 

Simon coughed slightly and Nathan couldn't help but feel a tiny bit pleased seeing his carefully constructed walls fall down. He was naked after all, literally and figuratively. Nathan knew the neat-freak liked to pretend to have everything planned to the nitty-gritty detail but the truth was that he wasn't in control at all. He still needed to shit and jerk off like the rest of them, and he was still naked under all those button ups.

 

“I was singing,” Simon mumbled and Nathan smiled at that especially lame excuse, feeling himself ease up a little. He earned a dangerous glare from the other boy, making him smile even wider.  

 

Simon’s blue eyes were piercing and Nathan wondered if they just looked lighter in contrast to his wet, dark, hair or if he’d just never noticed their intense color before. After all, he’d never been in such close proximity to the other boy, their faces being mere inches apart. Out of curiosity and, just because he could, he let his glance shamelessly slide down Simon's wet, pale skin. He took in the sight of his defined collarbones and heavily breathing chest. The soft outline of his muscles and the happy trail leading to his-

 

“Well that must have been some shit singing then, cus it sounded like you were talking,” the girl said, completely interrupting Nathans racing thoughts and closed the cabinet door with a loud bang. She walked across the bathroom again and the boys collectively breathed out as they heard the door close behind her. 

 

They didn't dare to utter another word, afraid someone else might hear them, so instead they just looked at one another in intense silence. Nathan felt like the fog around him was filling up his lungs, making him weirdly lightheaded. To his morbid realization he also noticed his pants had become uncomfortably tight and, oh God, he needed to get out of this shower before he added yet another impulsive and stupid decision to his increasing collection.

  
  


~~~

  
  


_ And the players gonna play play play play play _

_ And the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate _

_ I'm just gonna shake shake shake… _

 

“Nathan, If you don’t shot up…” Kelly groaned and the rest of the gang turned to look at her like she’d gone slightly mad. Nathan had not said a word since they walked into the diner, just ordered a free strawberry milkshake and sat down in the booth with the rest of the adolescent criminals.

 

“What you talking about?” Alisha asked, taking a small bite of her chocolate cake.

 

“He's singing Taylor Swift in his head,” Kelly explained, “It just goes on and on, I can't take it”

 

Curtis laughed, “Mate, why are you singing Taylor Swift?” 

 

Nathan swallowed, trying to come up with a response which did not involve explaining the fact that he had gotten a boner from- no, no, no.

 

“The song is just stuck in my head,” He said, “T-Swift, she's very underrated.”

 

“Whatever,” Alisha concluded but Kelly kept her gaze on him a bit longer, like she could smell him reeking of lies.

 

“So…” Curtis said, thankfully changing the subject, “You think they're getting it on?” 

 

He nodded to Simon still standing by the counter, talking to the redhead, Lydia, or whatever her name was. Nathan felt something odd stir up in his stomach, like a giant slug roaming around under his skin. It was disturbing to say the least but it happened every time he’d look over and take a peek at the pair. The redhead, laughing, giving Simon a playful shove by the arm and Simon smiling innocently in return, probably dying to get in her panties.

 

Kelly gave him a kick under the table and Nathan realized he must have acted jealous again. He started humming that stupid Taylor Swift song again to piss her off and she was just about to open her mouth when something interesting begun happening at the counter.

 

A man with the most well-kept hipster beard Nathan had ever seen, walked up to Lydia and Simon, making them stop mid-conversation. He couldn't hear what they were saying from the booth but it didn't look pleasant. The man was gesturing aggressively and poor Simon looked like he wanted to disappear, which, weirdly enough wouldn’t be entirely impossible. The redhead had begun shouting and soon the pair had started a passionate game of trying to be the loudest person in the room. Eventually, the hipster guy left for the bathroom and the diner returned to its pleasant hum of regularly volumed voices. Simon and the girl exchanged some brief words before separating, Simon quickly heading back for the booth. 

 

“Alright big boy, tell us what happened,” Curtis said as Simon sat down with the rest of them.

 

“She gave me her number,” he admitted, showing them a napkin with a set of digits on it which had seemingly been written down with some black marker.

 

There was a little heart at the corner of the napkin and, yup, the slug was definitely back, swelling up Nathan’s lungs and biting at his heart. 

 

“That’s so adorable,” He said, trying to ignore how his stomach was twisting at each word, “You can go piss on each other's tits then.” 

 

“What about the guy,” Alisha asked, ignoring Nathans comment, “he seemed pretty pissed off.”

 

“It was her boss apparently,” Simon shrugged, “he didn't like that she had the dog tied up outside, said it was barking at him when he came in.” He looked down at the table and Nathan wondered if it was because he felt weird getting so much attention from the others. He was usually the quiet guy, always in the background, never in the spotlight.

 

“Who cares about that shithead,” Kelly dismissed, “I wanna know what you two talked about, do ya like her Simon?”

 

Simon shifted in his seat, looking like he was trying to find the right words to adequately answer the question. Nathan wished he would just say was he was thinking for once. Fuck everyone else, sometimes you just had to speak your mind and damn the consequences. But Simon was nothing like Nathan. He was well spoken, analytical and calculative, or, in other words, uptight as shit. But still, Nathan knew he had another side to him as well. A side that would stare him down when he took a joke too far, or put a hand covering his mouth when he made too much noise. A dangerous side, for lack of better words. 

 

Now however, Simon looked far from dangerous. His dark blue shirt buttoned up to his adams apple and his hair carefully combed down. 

 

“She's pretty,” Simon mumbled, adjusting his shirt cuffs, “but I don't know if I like her yet.”

 

“You should go for it,” Curtis encouraged, discreetly bringing a bite of Alisha's cake to his mouth, “besides, if you two start dating we might get more free food.”

 

Nathan rolled his eyes, since when did everyone suddenly get so involved in Barry’s love life? 

 

“Just shag her and get it over with,” he said, his words coming out harsher than he intended, “She’s probably as good as your ever gonna get anyway, no offence kid.”

 

“Nathan,” Kelly warned but he was already standing up, leaving the gang to do their chatting about feelings and shit without him. He had no idea when they'd all grown so emotionally mature but he wanted it to stop. The more kind and encouraging they were acting, the more Nathan wanted to puke his brains out. 

 

“I’m taking a piss,” He announced to no one in particular and started walking towards the bathroom. He heard footsteps behind him as he entered the WC, but to his surprise it wasn't Simon but instead Kelly, looking at him sternly with her arms crossed as he turned around. 

 

“What the fuck is your problem,” She said and Nathan felt his throat going dry. Besides having telepathic powers, Kelly had a natural skill of looking through his usual thick layer of bullshit. It was refreshing most days but terrifying others. Today it was just annoying.

 

“What the fuck is _ my _ problem?” He exclaimed dramatically, “What the fuck is  _ your _ problem, you’re giving the poor lad false expectations, making him think that that Lydia-girl likes him or something.”

 

“What if she does?” Kelly countered and Nathan wanted nothing more than to tell her to just shut up and forget the whole thing.

 

“I told you to be nice to him,” She continued, “why is that so hard?”

 

“You don’t get it, It goes against all my primal instincts!” He argued. 

 

Kelly shook her head, her big, round earrings making a slight clinking noise as she did so.

 

“That's bullshit, I know you're hiding something from me.”

 

Shit, Nathan thought. Shit shit shit. She was going to figure it all out. Nathan wasn't sure what “it” entailed, he just knew he wasn't ready to tell her about it yet. The whole thing was so unfair, how could he be expected to be honest when he had no idea what was going on? Nathan spent the majority of his time acting rather than reflecting, thus making all this “what are you really feeling” bullshit, impossible. Sure, he wasn't telling her the whole story but that was just because he would have no idea what to say. How was it her business anyway if Nathan had gotten a massive bo-

 

“I don't think you're supposed to be in the men's room,” Nathan said, trying to push away any incriminating thoughts of what had happened in the shower that morning.

 

“Why don’t you start with tellin’ me about wha’ happened this morning?”

 

Right, she could still hear him, shit, how did he always forget this? He scratched the back of his head, wondering if he should just go into the bathroom, ignoring the entire conversation. He let his eyes wander from door to door, checking if there was any pair of shoes under the gap in the door when he noticed a pool of dark liquid dripping from one of the stalls.

 

“Please say that's really runny diarrhea and not blood,” he said pointing at the door. Kelly looked at the liquid, then at Nathan, then back at the liquid.

 

“We're not done with this conversation,” she said but turned away from Nathan to slowly open the door. There was a second of tense silence before a man fell out of the stall, landing harshly in the pool of blood below. His eyes were open but unmoving and his beard was dripping from the blood still sipping out of between his pale lips.


	3. The timing's poor, I know it's never right. It's hard to see this time of night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for excessive use of alcohol and infuriating cock-blockers.
> 
> Simons POV

“It was so gross, you have no idea,” Nathan said, hours later, lying stretched out on Simons bed.

 

He was wearing a hoodie that he’d found in the closet and Simon wondered if Nathan was going to make a habit out of wearing his clothes. He also wondered why the idea of it made his stomach flutter ever so slightly. 

 

“I just hope Lydia will be alright,” Simon said, pushing away the thought, “I know they didn't get along but he was still her boss.”

 

Nathan hummed at that and Simon took it as a sign that the conversation was dying out. He really did feel bad for Lydia. He hadn't stuck around long after the ambulance came, but he remembered her shocked expression once she saw all the blood. He had no idea if the man was still alive but he seemed to be far from okay from the way Nathan was describing the whole mess. 

 

Simon sighed, stood up from the bed and walked to the closet. He changed out of his shirt, feeling Nathan's' eyes silently follow his swift movements. The curly haired boy was doing a horrible job at acting discrete, his hand stretched out, pretending to be looking at some dirt under his nail while actually stealing glances Simons way. If felt strangely reminiscent of that same morning when they’d somehow ended up in the shower together. He’d felt Nathans gaze on him then as well, the other boys eyes inspecting every detail of his body. It had been intimidating to say the least. He wasn't used to being looked at by anyone and certainly not when he was naked. Simon was used to being the one observing, always the person behind the camera. Yet, in some ways it felt exciting, thrilling even, to finally be paid attention to. He remembered Nathans green eyes on his body, following the movement of the water dripping down his skin. He remembered the other boys hair and clothes slowly getting soaked, his t-shirt sticking to his lanky frame. He remembered catching his breath and finding himself unable to concentrate on anything but Nathan and the sound of the dripping water. 

 

“Are you gonna stand there all night Barry?” Nathan asked, making Simon quickly abandon his previous thoughts. He picked out a white t-shirt from the top of the pile, pulling it over his head. 

 

“Why do you still call me that?” He asked, trying to find a distraction from the memories from the shower playing in the back of his mind. 

 

“Call you what?” Nathan said, then he sighed, lazily resting his head back against the pillow. 

 

“Barry.” Simon pressed on.   
  


“I just thought that was your name,” the curly hair boy mumbled, clearly still sticking to the bit.

 

Simon gave him a cocky grin, or at least as cocky as he dared, and said, “You called me Simon yesterday.” 

 

Nathan raised an eyebrow at him, giving him a doubting look but Simons smile just grew wider at that.

 

“Last night when you had your nightmare, I woke you up and the first thing you said was my name, my real name.” 

 

Nathan was quiet for a long moment after that, seemingly trying to remember if what Simon said was true. 

 

“Fine,” he finally concluded, “but I was not having a nightmare.”

  
  


~~~

  
  


Nathan was having a nightmare.

 

Simon wasn't confused like the night before, he knew instantly what was happening when he woke up to low whimpering and the tossing and turning from the bed.

 

“Let me out, let me out” Natham mumbled and Simon walked over to the bed, looking down at the other boy. His hair was a bigger mess than usual and his chest was moving up and down at an irregular pace. Simon placed his hands on Nathan's shoulders, just like the day before and said, 

 

“Nathan, wake up, come on.”

 

Nathan didn't wake up though, instead letting out a loud cry, tears streaming down his cheeks. Simon felt the air getting sucked out of the room as his perception of control was slipping away. Nathan had always been the one person everyone could trust never to completely break yet there he was, crying in his arms, never being more distant from the person Simon knew as Nathan Young. He looked pained, helpless and Simon was falling apart knowing he couldn't fix it. 

 

“It’s just a dream,” He whispered, desperately taking Nathan's face in his hands, slowly wiping away the tears with his thumb. It reminded him of the time Shelly had tripped and hurt her knee while trying to learn how to ride a bike. Simon had sat down beside her on the ground, and similarly, brought his hands to each side of her face. He’d told her the pain wasn't going to last forever and then he blew her wounded knee a little kiss, earning a weak laugh from his sister. Everything had somehow been okay after that and Shelly had wiped away her tears and got back up on the bike like nothing even happened. If a kiss was all it took to make the pain disappear Simon would have kissed Nathan right then and there, pulling him into his warmth and capturing his lips in his. But things were never that easy.

 

“Don't let go,” a voice said, and Simon realized Nathan had finally woken up. He was still shaking but the tears had stopped streaming down his face. 

 

“I won’t,” Simon mumbled and their eyes met, Nathans green and wet while Simons were a dark shade of gray in the absence of any light, “I’m sorry. I know it was about…” He hesitated, “We shouldn’t have left you when you died.” 

 

He knew it was stupid to argue about what was already said and done but he couldn't shake the feeling that he could have prevented it all somehow. Simon knew, despite whatever facade Nathan tried to put on, that the immortal boy hadn't walked out of that grave quite the same. He spoke of darkness and shrinking walls in his sleep, and Simon was pretty sure every time he had a nightmare he was brought back to that coffin, the air thin and the loneliness unbearable.

 

“Don't do that, the whole guilt thing is cliche” Nathan said weakly. He slowly sat up in the bed and Simon let his hands drop to his sides. “You didn't know I was immortal,  _ I didn't know I was immortal _ .”

 

Simon shook his head, “I let you go of your hand that time on the roof,” he argued, “I’m the reason you died.”

 

Nathan laughed at that, it wasn't one of his usual maniacal laughs but rather a soft one, perhaps with a hint of bitterness.

 

“You are so daft sometimes,” He said, “That psycho girl is the reason I died, hell, even the fence that impaled me is more responsible for my death than you are.”

 

Simon didn't respond but nodded slightly. He didn't feel the guilt nagging in the back of his head disappear completely but it had been silenced into a barely audible hum. There was a long silence in the room after that, and Simon wondered if there was something he was missing. Was he supposed to go back to sleep and pretend the entire conversation had not occurred, or, maybe he was supposed to give Nathan some sort of comforting bro-hug. Was that what normal friends did? Were they even friends or was Simon just a glorified landlord without any of the monetary privileges? 

 

Suddenly the curly haired boy stepped out of the bed and walked up to the window, giving Simon a little pat on the back as he passed him. He had a little grin on his lips and it seemed as if he had, partly, reverted back to his usual self again. If his eyes hadn’t still been glossy and his cheeks wet from the tears, no one would have believed that he’d been crying just a moment earlier.

  
“Do we have work tomorrow?” Nathan asked, his eyes fixed on the empty streets outside. 

 

“No, it's Saturday,” Simon answered, confused.

 

“Well then,” Nathan grinned, “put your jacket on Barry, we’re going out on a little adventure.”

  
  


~~~

  
  


“And that's how I accidentally shagged my math teacher while high on weed brownies,” Nathan concluded, taking another swig of the vodka the pair had stolen from the alcohol cabinet before they left. At first Simon had felt guilty stealing from his own parents but as the liquor sunk in and Nathan’s smiles became more and more genuine, Simon didn't feel bad anymore. The two of them were sitting on the rooftop of some apartment building, the buzzed sensation in their bodies and the tiny city below them making them feel like Gods. 

 

“Why do all your stories end with someone getting shagged.” Simon slurred, the alcohol, embarrassingly enough, having quite the effect on him.

 

“They don't,” Nathan objected, lightly pushing the other boy, “Fine, you tell me something then.”

 

“Me?”

 

“You see anyone else here, pretty boy?” Nathan gave him a playful smile and Simon looked away feeling his face getting warm.

 

“I um,” He thought about it for a while, “You know that boys house that I tried to burn down?” Simon asked, his words coming out before he'd even taken the time to fully process them.

 

“Let me guess, he totally deserved it” Nathan mocked.

 

Simon laughed slightly, “He did, he was a bully, but…” He looked over at Nathan, taking the vodka bottle from his loose grip, “there are things about that story I haven't told anyone before.”

 

He took a swig of the alcohol while Nathan watched him intently. 

 

“Well, do tell, Barry,” the curly haired boy encouraged.

 

“We used to be friends before it all got...bad” Simon begun hesitantly, “but something happened between us the summer before secondary school.”

 

“What, did you jerk each other off or something?” Nathan laughed but as Simon remained quiet Nathans cocky grin turned into a look of disbelief, “no way, are you trying to tell me that you're gay?”

 

Simon shook his head profusely, “I'm not gay, I mean, maybe a little, but that's not the point,” 

He sighed, trying to collect his thoughts even though the buzz in his body and the way Nathans hand was brushing against his own made it hard to concentrate on anything.

 

“He kissed me one day while we were watching a movie at his parent's house and it was… I think I liked it,” He admitted, “But when we came back to school I guess he was embarrassed because he told everyone that I’d tried to molest him.”

 

Simon let out a bitter laugh, swinging with the bottle as he did so, “We were eleven years old, I don't even think he knew what a molester really was.”

 

Both of them were silent for a while, the only sound you could hear being the light wind and the occasional car driving by on the street below. Simon remembered how he’d stood outside Matt’s house, begging to let him in so that he could say sorry because somehow, in his naive eleven-year-old brain, Simon had thought that it was all his fault. He thought that, just because he hadn't been repulsed by kissing the other boy, that he really was a molester, a pervert, a sicko. He had thought that he deserved it.

 

Nathan laid down on the floor, letting his eyes rest on the stars above. “Fuck,” he concluded.

 

“Fuck indeed,” Simon muttered back.

 

Nathan seemed to think something over then turned back to Simon and asked, “So what's his name?”

 

“Matt.”

 

Nathan nodded slowly, “Matt…” he repeated.

 

He then looked back up at the stars and shouted with all the power he could muster, “Fuck you Matt!”

 

“What are you doing?!” Simon exclaimed, tugging at Nathan's arm. 

 

“I'm expressing my feelings,” Nathan smiled, “Ive heard its good for you.”

 

Simon looked at him stunned and Nathan opened his mouth again yelling, “Fuck you Matt, you fucking wanker!”

 

“Someone will hear you!” Simon protested, not letting go of his tight grip on the other boy.

 

Nathan smiled sweetly at him, “Maybe, but Matt needs to know what a fucking wanker he is and you can't stop me from telling him.”

 

Simon looked at him speechless and then, without warning, started laughing. It was one of those big, infectious laughters and soon Nathan couldn't help but join in. They sat there, the black sky above them and city below them, laughing like two crazy people.

 

“Yeah, fuck you Matt!” Simon yelled out between laughs and Nathan put his arm around him, joining in, screaming “I hope you choke on a massive cock, you fuck!”

 

They laughed some more and Simon could feel Nathan’s warm breath tingling on his skin. Simon thought it was nice and perhaps, would he have been sober, he'd be freaking out how much he enjoyed being close to Nathan like this. He'd be overthinking every touch, every word, every glance, but in this moment all he could do was smile. After the laughter died out the other boy was still resting his arm around Simons shoulders and he became painfully aware of how close they were sitting. Simon thought Nathan would let go of the embrace, say some stupid joke or take another swing of the vodka, but he didn’t. Instead he tilted his head forward, his eyes locked with Simons. Simons breath hitched and his ears were drumming with the sound of his own heart beating. They were so close, he could almost taste the alcohol on the others boys lips when-

 

There was a loud bang when the roof door opened behind them. “What are you kids doing up here, get out!”

  
  


~~~

  
  


They didn’t talk about it the next day, they didn't talk about much of anything actually. Nathan was, strangely enough, busy reading his Guillermo del Toro book while Simon took the opportunity to clean the room. He had neglected this practice since Nathan moved in but today he gladly welcomed the distraction. He vacuumed the floor, folded the laundry and even cleaned all the windowsills with a wet sponge. During the day flashes from the night before would pass by but Simon decided to not pay them too much attention. Whatever had happened it couldn't have been good, Nathans strange attitude and his own agonizing headache was proof of that. 

 

“I'm going back down to the kitchen, do you want something?”

 

“Orange juice would be great,” Nathan hummed, barely looking up from the book. 

 

Simon shook his head wondering since when Nathan had taken up an interest in filmmaking. He swiftly left the room, making sure to carefully close the door behind him. Once in the kitchen he rinsed the sponge thoroughly before returning it to its rightful place under the sink. He liked the precision of cleaning; the matriculate step by step procedure of it all. It made him feel grounded when everything else in his life was messy and cluttered. He remembered getting home from the police station after his failed arson attempt and cleaning for hours. His parents had let him, not batting an eye at his manic look while scrubbing the same spot on the counter over and over again until his fingertips got red and irritated from the friction. His sister was the one who had finally stopped him, putting her hand over his and giving him a light kiss on the forehead. He didn't know how much of the situation she’d really understood but maybe it didn't matter. She had seen her brother hurting and she had done whatever she could to comfort him.

 

Simon returned to the room, a glass of orange juice in his hand, trying not to think about that time he’d almost burnt down a house, the muddled memories from the previous nights or why Nathan was acting so not-Nathan-y. His heart however, stopped when he opened the door, being greeted by two people instead of one. Nathan was still sitting on the bed with the book in his hand while Shelly was standing right in front of him, eyes narrowed and lips stretched into a thin line. Simon practically ran inside, slamming the door behind him.

 

“I can explain-” He began but Shelly interrupted him, her voice harsh,

 

“I fucking knew you were doing some shady shit,  _ I knew it _ .”   
  


“Aren't you a little young to be swearing like that?” Nathan offered from the bed and the siblings turned to him, both giving him a cold look, “Fine, I’ll stay out of it,” He scoffed.

 

“He needed a place to stay, I couldn't just let him sleep in the community center,” Simon explained, his words hushed but with intent.

 

“Oh please, I was doing fine,” Nathan said but quickly piped down again when Barry and Shelly stared him down.

 

“So this is one of your criminal friends then,” Shelly said sarcastically, turning her look back on Simon, “I’m sure mom and dad will be thrilled.”

 

Simon could feel his heartbeat raise, “You can't tell them,” he pleaded.

 

Shelly didn't respond but eyed Nathan suspiciously as he sat there, cross-legged on the bed, trying to appear innocent with a wide, open-mouthed smile. He was wearing Simons gray sweatshirt again and Simon prayed Shelly wouldn't comment on it.

 

“I want a “Headless Monkey” CD,” She bargained, “And you have to clean my room for a month.”

 

“Headless Monkey, what kind of band is that?” Nathan wondered and Shelly gave him an evil smile.

 

“Mom and dad won't let me listen to their music because they use  _ bad words _ .” She explained, using quotation marks to express just how ridiculous she thought the concept was.

 

“Fine,” Simon interrupted, “I’ll have it by the end of the week.”

 

Shelly smiled at that and offered up her pinkie to seal the deal. Simon rolled his eyes but, in the end, reciprocated.


	4. Cause your heart isn’t safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for light gore and broken hearts
> 
> Nathan's POV

I wasn't Nathan’s style to overthink things. He usually let other people handle the planning while he somehow ruined everything with his impulsivity. This time was different though. He shuffled between the CD’s in the alternative section trying to stifle his laughter at the increasingly bizarre band names. Mommies Pancake Boys, Tiger Ejaculation, Lollipop Killers, the list went on. Finally, he laid his hands on a copy of “Monkey Brains” latest album. He paid for it with the money he’d manage to save by weeks of eating nothing but vending-machine food or Simon’s mom’s cooking. Sure, it hurt a little bit letting go of his last cash but Nathan knew it was one of the few decisions in his life that he wouldn't regret. Simon had let him into his home and not only that, offered him his food, his clothes and even his own bed, without expecting anything in return. The CD could perhaps be a way of saying thank you without having to actually utter the dreaded phrase out loud. Besides, despite the awkward tension that had arose after the other night, Nathan still wanted to stay with Simon. He wanted to be in his company and he even wanted to be his friend. Okay, maybe that was a bit of a lie. Nathan wasn't sure when or how, but he was pretty sure his feelings for the other boy had left the strictly-platonic territory a while ago. He caught himself constantly wanting to be closer to Simon. Craving his touch, silently wishing he could trace his fingers along his jawline to the end of his lips. He’d realized that he could listen to Simon talk for hours, loving his soft mumbling, the way every sentence was carefully thought out. 

 

_ Bloody hell _ , Nathan thought, walking towards the house with the CD securely tucked in his jacket pocket,  _ I think I’m in love with the bastard _ .

 

The realization should have hit him like a truck, leaving him in a state of confusion and panic, but it didn't. He felt calm with the thought even though he had no idea what to do with it yet. It didn't make any sense, actually, it was probably the craziest thing that ever could have ever happened and yet it felt like the most sure thing in the entire world. Would Nathan have believed in God he would have taken the whole thing as a cruel joke. “ _ Hey, I heard you were making fun of that Simon-fella so im gonna make you totally gay for him.” _ It was kind of a funny prank, Nathan concluded, just not when it was directed at him. 

 

When Nathan entered the house, he was greeted with a “Who is it?” from the, oh so charming Shelly who was watching tv in the living room.

 

“It’s Nathan.”   
  


“Oh, the tall criminal,” She mocked, “I thought you were with Simon.”

 

Nathan took off his worn out sneakers and walked into the living room, jumping down on the sofa much to Shelley’s irritation.

 

“I didn't know you liked,” He narrowed his eyes observing the rainbow vomit on the screen, “Whatever that is.”

 

Shelly rolled her eyes and it was so reminiscent of Simon that it hurt. The blue cold eyes under those thick lashes were observing him suspiciously and Nathan tried giving her a soft smile. He wasn't sure how to act around children but he guessed telling her to get the stick out of her ass was not a good place to start. 

 

“It’s called Winx Club,” She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Just because i'm punk doesn't mean I have to hate everything thats pink and sparkly.”

 

Nathan nodded, looking back on the screen. The Winx-fairies were fighting some type of monstrous slug, making it explode into what looked like brown, chewed up pieces of jello. It was a bit punk, Nathan noted curiously, not remembering any of his own favourite childhood shows being so cutely violent.

 

“The blonde is my favourite,” He said and successfully gained a little smirk from the girl.

 

“Of course she is,” She mumbled, eyes still glued to the screen. 

 

They sat in silence for a while, Nathan trying to stifle his laughter at the horrible english dubbing. He was just about to stand up and look for Simon when Shelly opened her mouth again.

 

“So what is your deal anyway?” She asked, “With Simon I mean.”

 

Nathan shrugged, hoping she was too invested in the show to notice the faint blush on his cheeks, “I sleep in his house and sometimes he gives me food.”

 

“Yeah but,” She hesitated, running a hand through her short, brown hair, “I don’t know, Simon is a softie, sure, but It’s not like he would do that for anyone.”

 

Nathan opened his mouth but no response came out. It had not occurred to him that maybe it wasn't just out of guilt and obligation that Simon had decided to help him. Maybe he genuinely gave a shit about Nathan and the fear that thought generated, reminded him once again why he hated to overthink things. 

 

“Do you know where he went?” He asked instead and Shelly sighed in that typical “I’m a teenager and therefore I must be annoyed at everything” way.

 

“He went to see a girl, Laurel... or Lydia…” She answered vaguely. 

  
  


~~~

  
  


He had absolutely no idea what he was doing but he knew he was going to fuck some shit up. Whether this ment cursing Simon out or violently make out with him in front of that increasingly annoying redhead, Nathan didn’t know yet. With the help of some good ol’ google stalking Nathan had found Lydia's address and he was going there to, as previously mentioned, fuck some shit up. That was about as far as the plan went but it was good enough for now.  He guessed he could improvise the rest when the moment called for it. 

 

Lydia lived in a big, gray, apartment building not far from the diner. It looked identical to at least a thousands of houses Nathan had seen before and he wasn't the least bit impressed. He practically stomped in, the sound of the door closing shut echoing behind him as he started walking up the stairs. Someone might have called him immature for being so emotional and it wouldn't have been the first time. But unlike most instances, Nathan totally had a right to be angry this time. Simon had, intentionally or not,  turned him crazy over the last few weeks. Slowly changing in front of him, always being within an arm's-length distance and, worst of all, almost kissing him the other night. Nathan had led a life of confusing boners and identity crisis ever since he moved in and it was all Simon’s fault. Simon with his stupid jawline and ridiculous blue eyes. Simon with his soft words and gentle touch. 

 

“I wouldn't go in there if I were you,” a voice behind him said as he had finally reached Lydia’s apartment, standing outside the worn out door.

 

He spun around and was met with the odd sight of an old woman dressed in a rose-patterned apron staring at him with cold eyes. She had dried blood from her mouth down to the neckline of her shirt. 

 

“That cunt in there, she's the one who did it,” The granny proclaimed, pointing a bony finger towards Lydia's apartment.

 

“No offence grandma,” Nathan said, feeling equally creeped out and confused, “But I have a hard time believing that the dainty little redhead in there is a cold blooded killer.”

 

The woman gave him a stern look, making her face look like a pale and bloody raisin, “You think, just because she's a woman, she would hesitate to snap my neck in two.”   
  


“No, no,” Nathan protested profusely, “This isn't a sexism thing, it's more of a, why would anyone kill an innocent lady - thing.”   
  


“I guess she was cross with me,” The granny scoffed, a little bit of blood staining her lips as she did so, “I told her to stop letting her dog shit in the sandbox on the courtyard and she just closed the door in my face, next thing I know im choking in a pool of my own blood on the floor.”   
  


She shook her head in disappointment, “Youths these days, can't handle the least bit of criticism.”

 

Nathan ignored her comment and turned to the door again, staring at it in a hope it would give him some answers. The more he thought about it, the more ghost-grannies words made sense. After all, she looked as if she had died in a similar way as the man in the diner, who, perhaps not so coincidentally was Lydia's boss. Two people she seemingly despised mysteriously dead in the span of a week. 

 

_ Shit _ , Nathan realized,  _ Lydia was a possible psycho killer and Simon was in there getting possibly psycho-killed. And he was here letting it possibly-happen.  _

 

In a fit of panic he continuously banged on the door until Lydia opened, an annoyed look on her face.

 

“What do you want?” She sighed.

 

Nathan didn't have time to respond as Simon walked up behind her, his brows furrowed in a look of confusion. He was still alive, thank God.

 

“Nathan?” 

 

Lydia looked at him, then back at Nathan, “Right, this was your charming friend from before.”

 

“I’m glad I left such a lasting impression,” He said sarcastically, seemingly forgetting the whole “possible killer” - ordeal, “I need to talk to you, alone” He added, looking firmly at Simon. 

 

Simon nodded and turned to Lydia apologetically, “It’ll only be a minute,” he reassured her and for a moment she looked like she was about to say something but instead she bit her tongue, going back into the apartment and closing the door behind her. 

 

“You didn't tell me you were on a date,” Nathan blurted out even though there were approximately ten things more important to discuss. 

 

“We’ve been texting and she wanted me to come over” Simon shrugged, “why are you here anyway, is everything okay?”

 

“I…” Nathan stumbled, feeling his face heat up, “I think there's something wrong with Lydia, I just talked to her neighbor’s ghost.”

 

Simons eyebrows shot up instantly.

 

“That's right,” Nathan said proudly, “she's very dead and seems to blame it on your little girlfriend in there.”

 

“That's not possible,” Simon mumbled, seemingly pondering over the possibility. The dim light by the staircase made his facial features soften and gave his hair a slight glow.

 

“Oh, but it is,” Nathan declared, “And, not so fun fact, the old lady died in a pool of her own blood, just like that hipster boss at the diner.”

 

Simon didn't answer and Nathan grew frustrated, “Come on, aren't you supposed to be the smart one, you should see what's happening here” he exclaimed,  “she has a clear motive Barry!”

 

“Stop calling me that.” Simon bit out, still looking down at the floor.

 

“Whatever,” Nathan dismissed, “Don't you think its weird that she just shows up one day with her dog sniffing your ass and suddenly your dating? You were wearing your freaking orange jumpsuit when you two met, it doesn't make any sense!”

 

Simon looked up at him then, his eyes cold and his demeanor stiff, “You find it odd because you think someone like her wouldn't want to date me” he said, his voice low and lifeless.

 

“No!” Nathan exclaimed frustrated, “That's not what I said, I just… even you should admit its weird”

 

Nathan tried reaching for Simon’s arm but he flinched away, glaring at Nathan dangerously.

 

“She didn't do it,” He said firmly, “I know her and she wouldn't…”

 

“Oh, you know her” Nathan mocked, “Maybe that's it, you're so blinded by what your dick tells you that you cant see whats right there in front of you.”

 

Simon just looked at him intently, not bothering to answer. It made Nathans blood boil and he had to fight the urge to call him all the curse words in the dictionary. He had known this girl for what, a week? He must have either been really stupid or really in love to ignore the fact that something was very wrong and Nathan didn't like any of those prospects. 

 

“Well,” Nathan spat, “While you and your new girlfriend go on your little diner dates, more people are going to die and their blood will be on your hands Barry!”

 

Something came over the other boy in that moment and Simon took a steady grip around Nathan, pushing him towards the stone wall. 

 

“My name is not Barry.” He said darkly.

 

Nathan catched his breath, losing a bit of momentum as Simon’s body pressed against his turned out to be quite distracting.

 

“Why don't you cry about it to that killer girlfriend of yours.” He finally said, hoping he sounded more cool and collected rather than jealous.

 

“Shut up,” Simon mumbled.

 

Nathan took it as a challenge, leaning into the other boys personal space, practically breathing his air. “Or what?” He hissed.

 

Simon stared at him and Nathan couldn't help but glance down at his slightly parted lips. The space between them was slowly changing, like the the bodies were unconsciously pulling towards each other. He wasn't sure which one of them initiated it but soon they were kissing, their lips violently crashing into each other. Nathan could smell the hint of cologne on Simon’s exposed throat as he pulled him closer. Slender fingers found their way up to his hair, pulling at his curly locks and making him gasp. The sounds they were making where echoing through the empty stairway but at that moment neither of them cared. They deepened the kiss and, fuck, Nathan didn't want to live in a world where he didn't have Simon’s soft, warm lips pressed up against his own. He felt as if his entire body was burning up, every cell in his being exploding over and over again. He let his hands slide over the other boys torso, feeling Simon’s fastening heartbeat under his fingertips. 

 

“No,” Simon mumbled between kisses but Nathan could barely hear him. He felt dizzy and drunk on Simon's lips, on the way he was touching him, pressing him further into the wall.  He realized this was it, they could never pretend things were like they used to be but maybe Nathan could be okay with that only if he got to kiss him for a little longer-

 

“Nathan,” Simon said, firmly this time, shoving away the other boy. His lips were swollen and his eyes dark. Nathan breathed harshly, instantly feeling cold with the loss of Simon’s body against his own. He wanted to say something dumb or witty to take the edge off the tense air between them but he couldn't manage to think of a single thing to say. He just studied Simon in the aftermath of his lost composure, trying to straighten his hair while looking anywhere but at Nathan. 

 

“This wasn't supposed to happen,” Simon finally said, turning away to face the door. Nathan went cold at that, and he could feel his heart breaking into pieces, the blood soaking his lungs and threatening to leak out of his eyes. 

 

He didn't say a word as Simon left him there alone, with the now flickering light as his only company. He listened to the echo of the closing door die out before he himself left as well. 


	5. I wish we never met, you're too hard to forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a slow chapter, the calm before the storm if you will...
> 
> Simon's POV

“Are you okay?” Lydia asked.

 

Simon gave her a reassuring smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, “Its fine, it wasn't anything important.”

 

Lydia nodded and, with a small grin on her face, corrected a piece of his hair that had fallen out of place.

 

“Did he roughen you up, your hair is a mess,” She laughed and Simon could practically feel his ears going red.

 

“We…” He stumbled, trying to push out the memories of Nathan's hungry lips on his, the sounds he had been making, the way his fingers trembled on his body… “We got into an argument, that's all.”

 

They were talking in the tiny living room sofa, Simon awkward and stiff while Lydia was sitting with one leg up in a comfortable position. 

 

The room was small and you could see the wallpaper peel on a few spots, yet it didn't feel overly run-down. There were vintage movie posters covering the walls and a string light by the window, giving the room more light. Poppy was sleeping in her dog basket, letting out a faint whimper every now and then.

 

“An argument huh,” Lydia murmured, scooching closer, “I hope he didn't ruin the mood.”

 

“Your boss,” Simon interrupted, turning his head towards her and, woah, he didn't remember her being that close… “Did he… is he okay?”

 

Lydia sighed, pulling away, “Let's not talk about it okay?” She gave him a broken smile, “I don't want to think that the last words I said to him-” 

 

She sniffed loudly and Simon wondered if she was gonna start crying. He put an arm around her shoulders and she breathed in harshly.

 

“I told him to fuck off, Simon,” she said slowly, her green eyes tearing up, “And then he did and… and what if I don't ever see him again?”

 

Simon couldn't think of anything to say that would make it better so he just pulled her in for a silent hug, letting her tears create stains of runny mascara on his shirt.

  
  


~~~

  
  


When Simon left the apartment complex short of an hour later he had never felt more torn. There was no doubt in his mind that Lydia wasn't a murderer, she just wasn't. After she’d stopped crying and let go of Simon’s embrace he’d been afraid that she was going to kiss him. It would have been wrong in every way imaginable. She was vulnerable to say the least, and he was, well, he’d just made out with Nathan Young so obviously he wasn't in his right mind either. But she didn't kiss him, she just brewed some chamomile tea for the both of them and talked some more about her boss. They’d always had their differences apparently but Lydia also proclaimed she had an immense respect for the man. She’d been one of the first people he hired after starting up the cafe and despite the pair getting into arguments on a regular basis they never left work as enemies. 

 

After talking, Simon felt as if he and Lydia were friends more than anything else, even though, at one point, before all the deaths and before Nathan’s lips ended up on his, they could have been something more. Lydia was a beautiful girl, her shoulder length red hair perfectly framing her round face and her smile lighting up the whole room. She was funny, outspoken and they shared an interest in film, but the spark just wasn't… there. Simon might not have been sure before, but after what happened with Nathan… If Simon had known  _ that  _ was what attraction was supposed to feel like, an irresistible pull, an explosion with every touch, he would have known he and Lydia were never going to be like that. 

 

But the kiss, it wasn't supposed to have happened. Simon wasn't supposed to have lost control like that, pushing Nathan against that cold wall. And Nathan wasn't supposed to have moved closer, getting all up in Simon’s personal space, making him dizzy. It wasn't supposed to have happened, Simon knew that, and yet it did. He felt so stupid for giving into the temptation when he'd gone through the scenario a hundred times in his head already. He knew what was going to happen, how it was inevitably going to end up. Simon and Nathan would get together, fool around a bit, only for Nathan to either realize it wasn't his thing or get embarrassed and tell the whole group it was Simon who had come on to him. Simon could see their faces before him, staring at him blankly, pretending not to be disgusted. They wouldn't comment on it but it would always be in the back of their minds; a reminder to never get too close. Simon couldn't go through that, not again. He would rather have had them beat him up or shove him into the lockers than pretended they didn't care. Like the teachers, walking the other way when they heard him getting shouted at from across the schoolyard. Like his parents who called it “just some teasing” when he got home with bruises on his face. 

 

Simon took a deep breath before he opened the door and walked into the house. He knew, no matter how scared he was, it would be best to confront the issue head on. Talk it out with Nathan before he did something impulsive like tell everyone what happened and how disgusting it had been. Simon had ran from it before, leaving Nathan alone with the tension lingering from their kiss while he got back into the apartment with Lydia. He knew it was a selfish thing to do but he just couldn't deal with it all right after it happened, it had been too much too fast. 

 

“Nathan?” he asked when he got inside but the house only gave him its gaping emptiness as its answer.

 

Maybe, Simon hoped, Nathan was in the bathroom using up all of Simon's shampoo or maybe he was sleeping, a book in his hand, wearing the gray hoodie which, somehow had become more his than Simon’s.

 

He walked up the stairs, giving the naked lady in the forest a quick glance when he passed her. He remembered Nathan calling it wank material born out of desperation and it hit him that maybe that was all it had been back in the apartment staircase. Nathan was without a doubt a beautiful man, his dark locks of hair and his cocky grin would make anyone fall on their knees, metaphorically and literally. Despite this Simon had a suspicion he hadn't had much… action since his recent status as homeless. The whole ordeal with Simon was likely just an expression of sexual desperation. After all, there was no way that Nathan in his right mind would go for a proclaimed freak like himself. It just didn’t make any sense.

 

He opened the bedroom door and was hit by the emptiness. The bed was neatly made even though Simon had no memories of leaving it like that. When he looked closer around the room he realized that all signs of Nathan was gone. All his spare clothes which used to be on a messy pile on the floor weren’t there anymore and the book that he’d garnered such an unusual interest for was replaced in its usual spot in the bookcase. Simon felt his heart aching, desperately looking around for anything that could prove his fears wrong. He glanced over the desk and noticed a note on top of a plastic covered CD of Headless Monkeys newest album. He carefully picked up the note, instantly recognizing Nathan's barely readable handwriting.

 

_ “I hope your sister likes the album,” _ it said.

 

Simon frowned, turning the note over to look for something more, anything. But the other side was blank, devoid of anything which could explain why Nathan had left. Simon sighed, crumbling up the note in his hand and tossing it across the floor.

 

Maybe it was for the best, he thought, even though he couldn't make himself quite believe it. Despite the circumstances Nathan hadn’t mocked him, and, to be fair, that was Nathan's favourite thing to do. He had not come up with some strangely creative insult calling him weird and gay, or, weirdly gay.  He’d just left, perhaps realizing how their shared lives would be plagued by awkwardness if he stayed. Maybe he was too afraid to face Simon again. Too afraid to face the consequences and actually talk about what had happened between them. It was true that Nathan never shut his mouth and yet he never talked about what truly mattered. Maybe he was disgusted with Simon after kissing him, Simon thought. But if that was the case there was one thing which didn't make sense at all. One thing that Simon couldn't explain with any of his theories and speculations. One thing that had refused to leave the back of his mind ever since he’d left Lydia's apartment. 

 

_ Nathan had kissed him back. _

 

~~~

  
  


Nathan was pretty much his usual loud mouth and offensive self the following day. He made horrible jokes and obscene gestures like always, with only one significant difference; none of them were directed at Simon. In fact, Simon couldn't remember Nathan even looking his way the entire day. No one else seemed to notice and it reminded him of how lonely he truly was. Nathan's mockeries was, after all, the most frequent interaction he had with anyone in the group. Curtis didn't really know what to say to him most times, Kelly mostly protected him from Nathan's comments and Aisha barely acknowledged him. He didn't blame them too much, there was a reason he had gained the power of invisibility. He liked to be in the background and observe rather than initiate the conversation. It was understandable that they'd want to keep their distance but that didn't make it hurt less. And now the only person he could always trust would talk to him was treating him like air. It was unbearable.

 

There was at least one good thing about the whole situation and that was the fact that Nathan seemed to have avoided throwing him under the bus in front of the others. He hadn't told anyone about what happened between them and Simon was grateful. He couldn't even imagine what he’d do if everyone suddenly turned against him. Despite everything they were the only friends he had and, God, that was depressing when you really thought about it. 

 

“So wha’ happened to that girl you were seeing?” Kelly suddenly said and Simon flinched slightly at the question. 

 

They were cleaning outside the community center, picking up candy wrappers and cigarettes with long litter sticks and putting them into black plastic bags. The group was scattered around the area but still close enough to hear one another occasionally complain or announce that they’d found a condom wrapper in the bushes. 

 

“I don’t know,” Simon said, glancing over at Nathan to see if he was listening to the conversation, “She likes movies.” 

 

Nathan didn't look his way but he audibly scoffed, picking up a beer can and putting it in the plastic bag. As he did so some liquid managed to spill out on the legs of his orange jumpsuit and he swore loudly. 

 

“Ya alright Nathan?” Kelly laughed as Nathan was trying to wipe away the beer with his hand, only managing to spread it out more. 

 

“Mind your own sodding business,” He shouted back, “Go back talking about Barry’s depressing love life.”

 

Simon felt his hands turn into tight fists, his knuckles going white. The words hit him like tiny daggers to his heart even though a fucked up part of him was glad to at least be acknowledged.

 

“Shot up,” Kelly dismissed, “Ya just mad cus ya not the one getting some.”

 

Nathan scoffed again, rolling his eyes dramatically, “Please, the only thing his getting is dog hair all over his clothes.”

 

“Fine,” Simon interrupted and both Kelly and Nathan turned to look at him, a surprised expression on their faces, “You think she's not interested...” 

 

He fished out the phone from his back pocket, hastily dialing Lydia's number. Kelly was glancing between the two boys looking like she wanted to interfere but didn't know how. She opened her mouth to say something right before Lydia picked up the phone on the other end. 

 

“Hi,” Simon greeted, trying to sound confident in front of his two people audience, “I just wanted to say that I enjoyed our time yesterday.”

 

Nathan gave him a cold stare and he couldn't help but feel a bit triumphant. For a second the other boy looked just as hurt and defeated as Simon felt. 

 

“Simon!” Lydia exclaimed happily on the other end, “I was just thinking about texting you..”

 

“Oh,” Simon responded dumbfounded, “What did you want to text me about?”

 

Lydia let out a laugh even though Simon had no idea what was so funny. Nathan and Kelly had stopped picking up litter and were both just observing him. Nathan with his jaw clenched and his grip tight on the litter stick while Kelly just had a questioning expression on her face.  

 

“I wanted to see if when we could meet up again,” Lydia said, “Today after work for example..”

 

Simon coughed slightly, “Yes,” he finally said, “I can met you at the diner when my community service ends.”

 

“Sounds good,” she said, “Look, I gotta get back to work but see you later, yeah?”

 

“See you later,” Simon echoed before pressing the end call button, ready to face whatever crude comments Nathan was about to throw at him. 

 

But the other boy just looked down, shaking his head, defeated.

 

“You shouldn't have done that.”


	6. Broken by my open heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it folks,,,, last chapter before the epilogue! I want to say thank you a million times to all those who left me nice comments, they inspired and motivated me to keep going<333 I hope you enjoy :) 
> 
>  
> 
> Nathan's POV

“What are you doing?” Alisha asked as Nathan was practically jumping out of his community service clothes, hastily fumbling with the sipper.

“I'm going after the bastard,” Nathan mumbled, not meeting the other’s increasingly confused looks. 

Kelly was the first one to object, “Are you tryna’ ruin his date because I swear to God-”

“I’m saving his bloody life!” Nathan interrupted angrily, turning around to face them all, the arms of the jumpsuit hanging down from his waist.

“That Lydia-girl is a cold-blooded killer,” He continued, slightly more composed, “She used some type of powers to murder her hipster-boss and neighbor.”

Curtis and Alisha looked skeptically at one another but Kelly kept her gaze steady on him. He knew she was poking around in his head again but instead of calling her out on it he let it happen. He thought back on the first time they’d went to the diner. How Lydia and her boss had been arguing passionately only for him to end up choking on his own blood in the bathroom stall. He remembered the way his breath had been oozing of the smell of iron and death and Kelly wrinkled her nose in disgust at the shared memory. Nathan continued on, bringing out the memories of going to Lydia's apartment, being greeted by the ghost of her neighbor. He remembered her bloody face and the accusations she’d made. “That cunt in there, she's the one who did it”, he replayed the old woman’s voice in his head, hoping Kelly could hear it too.

There was a long silence and then, “Fuck, he's tellin’ the truth,” Kelly finally said, the others giving her a surprised look. 

“I saw it in his head, he talked to the ghost of the neighbor.” She explained.

“Ah shit,” Curtis said under his breath.

“Ah shit is right,” Nathan rambled, “and every second we keep on blabbing about it is another second she can kill Simon.”

 

Alisha walked over to Nathan, slamming his locker door shut, “What are we waiting for then, we gotta stop her!”

 

~~~

 

The orange jumpsuit wearing gang were getting some strange looks as they passed the streets on their way to the diner. Nathan was walking first, feeling his heart beat louder at each step. 

“Do we have a plan or something?” Alisha shouted from the back but Nathan didn’t look back at her. He just kept on walking, not slowing down in the slightest. 

“Nathan, what are we gonna do when we get there?” Kelly said. She ran forward in order to walk beside him, “Are you even listenin’?”

“I have a plan,” Nathan reassured them, not looking twice before crossing the road, “I'm going to prove that she’s the killer, right in front of Si-”

He bit his lip, cutting himself off, “I mean Barry, right in front of Barry.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Curtis asked skeptically and, really, the lack of trust these people had in him was ridiculous. 

He was just about to answer Curtis when he spotted Simon and Lydia walking towards them. Simon was walking that stupid dog and Lydia was laughing at his nervous face as he tried to keep the dog from walking onto the road. Without as much as a second of hesitation, he started running towards them, the gang shouting his name behind him. 

He locked eyes with Simon’s the second before his open palm hit Lydia in the face with a loud smack. It wasn't a hard slap but she let out a scream in cheer surprise.

“Nathan are you insane?!” Simon shouted, putting a comforting hand on Lydia’s shoulder as pressed her hand over the reddening cheek. 

Her look was pure murder when she tilted her head up to give him an icy stare and Nathan thought, yes, this is it. 

“Do it then, go on!” He shouted at her, ignoring Simon’s increasingly confused stare.

“You want me to do it, you prick,” Lydia spat at him, her red hair looking almost electric for a second, “Cus I’ll do it,” she warned.

“Give me your best shot,” he dared before closing his eyes and anticipating the blood that was soon going to fill his lungs, spilling out of his mouth like a flood. Instead he felt a pang of pain to his groin so intense he fell to the ground, letting out a loud groan. As he held his junk in agonizing pain it hit him that Lydia, that unbelievable cunt, had kicked him between the legs. He opened his eyes, looking up at the gang’s faces of concern as they had surrounded him in a circle. 

“I don’t think she’s da killa,” Kelly said, stating the obvious, and Nathan closed his eyes again, wishing he could take a long nap while everyone else disappeared.

“Maybe not,” He mumbled, “But she's still a bitch.” He cried out, feeling the excruciating pain linger.

Simon stepped into the circle, looking down at him with such a look of disappointment Nathan had to look away.

“I said she didn't do it,” he said, “why couldn’t you just trust me?”

Nathan didn't respond and instead tried to focus on the pain still rushing through his body. Soon Lydia and Simon were talking over him, Simon explaining the misunderstanding as factually as he could and Lydia calling Nathan a fucking wanker over and over again. Suddenly he felt something wet on his face and when he turned to the side, that massive dog was licking him, his meaty breath making Nathan gag.

“Stop face-raping me you beast” He mumbled, shooing the dog away with his hands. 

He sat up, properly shoving the dog away to get it out of his face, “Get it off of me!” he groaned.

Suddenly another wave of pain hit him and he had to lie down back on the ground. For a second he thought Lydia had kicked him again but the pain was different this time. He felt it in his stomach like someone was eating out his insides only to spit them right back in. He tried to yell but something a thick and warm substance was blocking his throat. 

“Nathan are you alright?” Came Simon’s voice but Nathan couldn’t turn around to meet his look of concern. His body was cramped in a fetal position, shaking but unable to move correctly.

He opened his mouth again, trying to answer, but instead he just managed to cough out a pool of blood, staining the pavement below. He could hear the gang starting to argue in the background, Kelly telling Lydia to “Stop whateva it is ya doin or I’ll rip ya head in two”.

Their voices all blended together and Nathan started to see spots in front of his eyes, his vision growing dim. In his confusion Simon’s voice still stood out like a steady anchor in the middle of the sea. 

“It’s the dog.” He said and Nathan didn't understand what he meant, yet he clung on to the words, trying to stay afloat when his entire body felt like it was sinking. 

“Lydia, give me the dog candy.” Simon continued, his voice demanding and firm. Nathan would have thought it was kinda hot would he not have been literally dying; coughing up more and more blood as they were speaking. A moment of silence passed and then, suddenly, the harsh sound of a car hitting the brakes, followed with a soft thump.

Then, finally, everything turned black. 

 

~~~

 

When Nathan woke up the world was silent and calm again. He seemed to be alone but he didn’t mind it as he needed a moment to quietly process everything that had happened. First off, where the hell was he? He looked around and a wave of relief came over him as he recognized the blue walls of Simon’s room, the warm comfort of his bed. Simon wasn't anywhere to be found however, but considering it was his house he couldn't have been far away. 

His stomach felt a little funny, like he was fresh off an operation table but other than that he wasn't in any major pain. He carefully sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed and stretching his stiff limbs. He tried to connect the pieces of what had happened before he ended up in Simon’s room, but it all still felt a little bit fuzzy. He remembered going to confront Lydia and Simon, having, for once in his life, a plan. He’d wanted to piss off Lydia to the point that she’d use her powers on him, right in front of Simon, proving once and for all that she was the murderer he knew she was. But something had gone wrong… Nathan remembered ending up on the cold ground and someone licking his face. Then there was chaos and pain and everyone were screaming and then- nothing. The last thing he remembered was Simon's voice. There had been an urgency to it yet it had been clearer than ever. He hadn't stumbled on his words or stuttered once, his tone commanding and direct. He’d told Lydia to give him the dog candy and, wait, that didn't make any sense, why would he have-

“Nathan,” Simon breathed and practically ran from the door towards the bed, bringing Nathan into a tight hug. 

Nathan hadn't even noticed him standing by the door frame but after the initial surprise, he hugged back, resting his head gently on Simon’s shoulder. When they pulled apart they were smiling at each other like a couple of idiots.

“You’re the most stupid person I’ve ever met.” Simon murmured but he was still smiling so Nathan couldn’t really take it seriously. 

“And yet you’ve let me into your bed, so who’s the stupid one really?” Nathan replied, a cocky grin on his face. God, he had missed this. He’d missed Simon.

Simon shook his head, “No I mean it,” he said, earnestly this time, “You risked your life just to prove a point.”

Nathan rolled his eyes, letting his hands run through the curls of his hair, giving them a little ruffle, “I’m immortal if you haven't forgotten.” He reminded the other boy. 

“And I didn't do it to prove a point,” He continued, looking passed Simon towards the window. The morning sun was shining outside and the branches on the trees were moving back and forth in the rhythm of the light breeze outside. 

“I did it because I thought you were in danger.”

He didn't have to look at Simon to feel his blue, piercing, eyes staring him down. They radiated worry and something that Nathan couldn’t quite place yet. Fear perhaps. 

“You died Nathan,” he finally said, his words soft, almost pleading, “You died because of me, all over again.”

Nathan turned back to him then, looking directly at the other boy. His smooth, pale skin and the tired dark circles around his eyes. He was wearing a light blue shirt but the buttons weren’t closed all the way like they usually were, letting the skin on his neck breath for the first time in decades, Nathan thought. 

“Didn't I tell you the whole guilt thing was cliché?” He dismissed, smiling at Simon, not because he thought it was funny but because he wanted the other boy to smile with him. He wanted him to forget all the stupid shit he was latching on to. To stop feeling so guilty over what he couldn't control. 

“I should have trusted you,” Simon argued, “I should have listened to you when you said something was wrong, I was so stubborn...”

“Well, you’re the one who said it not me,” Nathan joked and Simon gave him a weak smile in return.   
They sat there silently for a while and Nathan thought he could hear birds chirping in the distance. He didn't remember spring being like this. The world felt so soft suddenly, so easy.

“So… what happened exactly, my memories turned a bit blurry at the end there,” Nathan said, breaking the silence.

Simon bit his lip, clenching his hands together, “It turned out to be the dog,” he admitted. 

Nathan looked at him quietly for a while, trying to figure out if he was joking or not but then he remembered the old lady having specifically complained about the dog and -

“-the dog was the homicidal maniac all along?” He breathed like he’d just come up with the answer for an age-old conspiracy theory, and Simon nodded in response. 

Maybe it was silly to keep getting surprised time and time again by the ridiculous situations the universe liked to throw at him. The group seemed to be a magnet for all types of freaks and it wasn't even the first time they’d had to deal with an animal gaining powers. This time no one committed bestiality at least, he thought.

“Wait, so what happened to it?” Nathan asked and he could visibly see Simon sucking in the air.

“We… um” He fumbled, “I threw some dog candy on to the street and-”

“Bloody hell Simon, you killed a dog!?” Nathan exclaimed, trying to stifle a laugh as Simon had started to look increasingly uncomfortable. 

“I didn’t!” He protested, and then, after a pained second of silence, “The car killed it, technically.”

Nathan laughed, he couldn't help it because, dear lord, Simon had killed a dog. A cold-blooded, psychopath dog who could have probably gained the same infamousy as Ted Bundy or The Zodiac would he have been a human.

“Fuckin’ ell,” He chuckled “It’s always gonna be like this, innit?” 

“Probably.” Simon smiled, “But I kinda like it.”

Nathan gave him a grin, shoving him playfully, “You like crazy.” He teased. 

“Maybe,” He admitted and Nathan could see the tip of his ears going pink which made him grin even wider.

“You like it a lot,” He pressed on, tilting his head towards the other boy. Simon seemed to have held his breath because he exhaled shakenly, his warm breath tingling on Nathan's lips. 

“Yes,” Simon whispered and then, finally, he leaned in, softly bringing their lips together. 

It felt reminiscent of their kiss in the apartment staircase. Familiar. Simon’s hand in the back of Nathan’s neck, tugging at his hair, and Nathan in return, moaning into his mouth. But it was also nothing like before. Simon’s touch wasn't rough like he was trying to let out every second of sexual frustration the pair had built up over the time they’d known one another. And Nathan wasn't desperately clinging to his every movement, afraid that Simon was going to let go of him at any second. This time there was no anger, no jealousy, no confusion. There was only Simon and Nathan, pressed together, feeling like the world was theirs and time was nonexistent. 

Nathan pulled away for a moment, “You aren't going to do that whole leaving-thing again, are you?” He asked, his voice barely audible.

Simon smiled, “I could ask you the same thing.” Their faces were still so close, like they couldn't let go off the comfort one each other just yet.

“No,” Nathan whispered.

Simon put his hands on Nathans jawline, stroking his soft skin with his thumb, “No,” he agreed.


	7. EPILOGUE

It was a Sunday morning when Simon woke up to the feeling of someone lightly nibbling at his neck. He slowly opened one eye, glancing down at Nathan who was shamelessly giving his exposed skin small, biting kisses. The other boy's warm mouth on his throat was sending shivers through his body and Simon leaned into the touch, letting out a slight moan.

 

“Look at who’s finally awake,” Nathan teased, his words vibrating against his skin.

 

Simon groaned as he stretched out his arms above his head, “Good morning,” he mumbled.

 

He turned his body to the side, fully facing Nathan. The curly haired boy was wearing one of Simon’s thin, white t-shirts and the color made his slightly tan skin glow in the morning sun. Nathan gave him an evil grin, leaning back in again and placing a firm kiss right under his jawline.

 

Simon felt himself growing heated under Nathan’s touch, “What time is it?” He whispered, a slight tremble to his words.

 

Nathan arched one eyebrow and then, with one swift motion crawled on top of Simon who let out a surprised laugh. Nathan silenced him with his mouth however, turning the laughter into a low moan. Simon placed his hands under Nathan’s, well, his shirt, feeling the other boys soft skin under his fingertips. Nathan was quite lanky and Simon could feel the outline of his spine and ribcage as he let his hands travel up and down every inch of the other boys back. Nathan bit his bottom lip when they pulled apart to catch their breaths only to go in again, deepening the kiss. The Irishman seemed to be in a teasing mood, Simon thought, and in return he let his hands travel even further down to the waistband of his boxers.

 

Nathan pulled apart, his eyes dark and his lips wet, “Are you really sure we have _time_ for that?” He mocked.

 

It was now Simon’s turn to give the other boy a grin. He firmly placed his hands on Nathan’s sides, turning him around so that Simon was on top, straddling him.

 

“We have time,” He reassured him, bringing him into another kiss.

 

The other boy enthusiastically reciprocated and Simon knew, even though Nathan liked to pretend otherwise, that he enjoyed when Simon took control like that.

 

He smiled into the kiss and moved his knee between Nathan’s legs. The other boy groaned at the friction, “You’re such a bloody tease,” he mumbled.

 

“Shut up,” Simon whispered back, slowly moving up and down, rubbing against Nathan’s hardening dick.  

 

Nathan threw his head back, letting out a loud gasp, “Or what,” he breathed out.

 

Simon was just about to answer with giving Nathan a well deserved morning handjob when they heard a loud knock on the door.

 

“Are you snogging in there?” Came Shelly’s voice from outside and Simon couldn’t help but let out a frustrated groan, forcing himself off Nathan.

 

“Of course we’re not snogging!” Nathan shouted at her, “We’re discussing the current political climate... and if you heard any moaning that was just me looking at the stock market, it’s a good time for investing.”

 

“Just… stop talking,” Shelly said and Simon could perfectly picture her face outside the door, her eyes narrowed and arms crossed, “I just wanted to tell you that mom and dad left for work so…”

 

Simon’s parents hadn't really come around the fact that their son had a boyfriend, a boyfriend with a criminal past and general asshole nature like Nathan Young nonetheless. There had been some shouting and harsh words thrown around and Nathan might have asked them how it felt to be dead from the neck up. It wasn't ideal, the atmosphere at home had grown slightly stiff and Nathan still had to hide up in Simon’s room during their frequent sleepovers.

 

“Do whatever you want, I guess,” Shelly continued. Nathan gave a Simon a mischievous smile and as if Shelly had heard his undoubtedly dirty thoughts she added, “I mean, don’t do whatever you want, please dont have sex in the kitchen, or living room, or bathroom, actually, just don’t have sex at all.”

 

“I won't make any promises I can't keep,” Nathan whispered.

 

“Bye Shelly,” Simon shouted, his face completely red. Nathan chuckled and moved over a bit, resting his head on top of Simon’s chest.

 

“Jesus, when are we moving out of this place?” He asked, then, as he seemed to realize the gravity of his own words, backpedaled and said, “I mean, I just… your sister is great and all,  love the kid, but sometimes I just want to suck dick in privacy you know.”

 

“You want us to get our own place?” Simon asked bluntly and Nathan looked up at him, his green eyes hesitantly meeting Simon’s blue ones.

 

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, Simon thought. Community service was over after all and they’d both managed to sink into their new lives quite comfortably. After the whole group had come together to rescue Simon something had clicked in him. He’d realized he wasn't as invisible as he felt and that the notion of other people caring about him wasn't as impossible as he’d always believed. The realization had been accompanied with a slowly rising confidence and he’d started offering his opinion even when he wasn't asked to and, to Nathan’s not so secret delight, started cracking a few jokes here and there. Shortly after this Simon had finished his first job interview that wasn't characterized by him stuttering profusely or choking up on the questions. Simon had been too scared to even hope he’d get the position (despite Nathan profusely telling him they were ‘cock-holes’ if they didn't realize what a catch he was). A week went by and low and behold, his employers ended up not in fact being cock-holes, telling him on the phone they looked forward to working with him. It wasn't anything fancy but even though he spent most of his time on the computer, doing the same repetitive tasks over and over again, he was grateful for the independence that the paycheck gave him.

 

Nathan had changed too, well as much as he was capable of at least. He hadn't died after that time he got killed by Lydia's dog and Simon thought the improvement was major. He’d also managed to get employed, several times in fact. The two first jobs ended up with like you’d expect they would. On his first day working in the fast food restaurant, he’d ended up starting a fire by the frier-station. Nathan thought they were overreacting in their firing of him and as revenge, he’d stolen two bags of french fries and hamburgers to share with the gang. His second job at the supermarket had ended less dramatically. He hadn't even meant to be rude, he tells Simon when they are wrapped around each other under the blanket. It’s not his fault that he didn’t know where the jelly was and honestly, that guy deserved what was coming to him by the way he was acting. Some people really have the nerve to say whatever they wanted just because they were customers.

 

His third workplace, however, had been the most unlikely yet perfect fit. The gang had visited the diner one weekend, enjoying their share of free milkshakes and fries that Lydia offered them every time they stopped by. When the initial shock had settled she’d felt so guilty about what Poppy had done, she’d promised them all a lifetime supply of free diner food. She’d been really cool about the whole thing even as she’d lost a very dear (although murderous) companion as a result of it. When she overheard Nathan loudly complaining about getting sacked again she’d told him, against her best interest Simon thought, that they had a job opening for another waiter. Nathan gave up his contact information on the spot and the rest was history. It had been a rather awkward working situation at first which perhaps wasn't so odd considering the whole “you tried to get it on with my boyfriend”-ordeal. Both Lydia and the hipster boss who, despite severe injuries to his internal organs had been recovered, seemed to be immune to Nathan’s bullshit however. Being told to “fuck off” no longer meant getting fired but was just the standard way to express dissatisfaction. The whole thing felt like watching a rusty airplane with half it’s win cut off take flight; no one thought it could possibly work and yet it did.

 

They still met up with the others from time to time when some new freak with powers got in their way or when they just wanted to talk some shit over a free milkshake. They all pretended to be surprised when Nathan put his arms around Simon and gave him a little peck on the corner of his mouth. Apparently, Kelly had figured it out sometime after fighting with Nathan in the bathroom and she’d soon told Alisha who eventually told Curtis too. Bloody snitches all of them.

 

“I shoulda realized it sooner to be honest,” Kelly admitted, “But I thought ya were just being stupid and jealous or somethin’, not gay or whateva’ it is you are.”

 

Alisha agreed, “Right, I should have totally seen it coming, the way the two of you do your little eye-fucking thing… It’s really something.”

 

Curtis shook his head at them both, “I’m just glad you two figured your shit out,” He said, “And you kinda make sense together in your own weird way.”

 

That had been all the acceptance they needed and ever since then, they’d felt at liberty to act like the cheesiest couple in the world. Holding hands under the table and listening to music together, one headphone each, with Nathan’s head resting against Simon’s. Their conversations would still be filled with mockeries and insults but now when Nathan call Simon a “freaking cocksucker” Simon would just shrug and say, “I thought you liked my cocksucking” and everyone else would groan in protest. But as much as they liked to irritate their friends with their new relationship-shenanigans they still preferred their private time. Simon kissing Nathan senseless and Nathan playfully letting his hands wander under Simons shirt. It worked, _they worked_.

  


“I mean,” Nathan began and Simon snapped back to reality, “I’m just saying I wouldn’t mind waking up like this every morning, well, I could do without your cockblock sister,” he admitted.

 

Simon laughed, “I won’t tell her that,” He brought his hand up to Nathan’s hair, playing with a strand of his hair between his fingers. “We’ll get our own place then,” He finally said.

 

Nathan smiled at him, relieved, and let his head rest on Simon’s chest again, enjoying the way Simon’s fingers were running through his hair. Everything had somehow ended up okay, something which was strange for both of them. Neither of them knew how they’d got here, laying in each other's arms like some cliche romance movie, and yet, it felt more right than anything else in the world.

 

_This was were they’d supposed to end up all along._

  


The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's left nice comments and kudos, you people are the reason I write. And thank you or sticking with me on this messy freaking journey. This is like the longest fanfic I've written so far but the feedback honestly made it all worth it. You guys are amazing <33

**Author's Note:**

> Hello fellow Misfits fans who refuse to let go of this fandom even though the show ended some time ago,,, ya'll are my people <33  
> I will be updating this weekly, hope you enjoy!! :)


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